I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.

Listen to your heart when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.

And there are voices that want to be heard.
So much to mention but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that's been when love was wilder than the wind.

current mood: hungry

      I luv my international friendship!!!

Ooops, I think it's time to go home!

 I just went to the house to grab some candies from the Christmas stockings. Guess what? My hand was in the stocking and ... oops ... I grabed some candies ... but I left my nail there!!!

It's time to go home and get my nails done!

current mood: bitchy

Here I am again ... sitting in the Dad's office and trying to think about life!

That is soooo weird that now I feel like staying here for some more time. I dont wanna go home anymore, or ... hm ... maybe for one day - just to see everybody and then immediately come back here. Why am I saying it? I dont know! Just my thoughts aloud.

Yesterday was sooo much fun with my host Mom. We went to Jack in the Box and ate a lot of junk food, which was really good, not healthy though, oh well!!! Then I had some of my host borther's friends coming over. They all are sooo freaking funny and they make me laugh all the time. They are sweet too. By the way, my host brother is 18 and he is a real hottie and cuttie - both in one face. He likes me. Too bad for me he is my host brother, otherwise ...hm ... but thinking about it in different way ... it's not like he is my brother-brother for real. So .....ok ... I wont talk about that!!!

I feel damn good today - I dont even know why!

Yesterday I met my x-community representatives from 3-years ago. They are so nice and sweet, but getting too old for hosting exhcnage students. That is always sooooo freaking sad to see people getting old. They both used to be so funny all the time and so mobile. But now ... they just asked me some general questions. Like they were not interested in my life at all anymore. Maybe they were not for real, but I am pretty sure that they still love me and care about me. It's just about growing up thing ... I am not a baby anymore. I am not the one they were responsible for anymore.

My English is coming back to me! I am so glad.

current mood: disappointed

skol`ko raz menya sprashivali: "Chto cheloveku dlya schast`ya nuzhno?" ... i ya kazhdij raz nahodila raznie otveti: noviye djinsi, tarelka sushi, goryachaya vanna, vanil`noye morozhenoe ... lubimij chelovek, spyashchij ryadom s toboj ... no vse eti momenti tak zhe prekrasni, kak i kratkosrochni ... nikogda ne znaesh, kogda prijdet eto schast`ye (ved` ne vsegda ono prihodit s novoj paroj djins) ... a uzh tem bolee nikogda-nikogda ne zadaeshsya voprosom "Kogda eto schast`ye ujdet ot tebya?" ... hm ... ne stranno li vse eto ... vot, naprimer, ya segodnya - spala do 12 chasov, vstala so zvonkom mami, prinyala goryachij-goryachij dush, odela te samiye noviye djinsi :-) ... i oschutila sebya vpolne schastlivim chelovechkom ... a esche vchera ya stradala ot togo, chto mne zdes` ochen`-ochen` ne hvataet moih druzej ... nu, pochemu, kogda kazhetsya, chto vrode bi u tebya est` vse, chto nuzhno, vsegda ne hvataet chego-nibud` ... tol`ko vchera ya zadumalas` nad tem, pochemu zhe vse ludi stremyatsya v Ameriku ... hm ... na um srazy prishli vospominaniya 3-godichnoj davnocti ... kogda mama mne soobschila, chto ya edu v Ameriku i provedu tam zelij god ... kakova zhe bila moya reakziya? ya skazala, chto nikuda ya ne poedu ... ne hochu ... ne budu!!!
Tut zhe prishlo drugoe vospominanie ... priehala posle Ameriki domoj, ostavila pozadi ochen` horoshih, dobrih, vechno-ulibayuschihsya i lyubyaschih menya lyudey ... no pervoe vremya ya dazhe i dumat` ne hotela, chto ya vernus` v Ameriku ... zdes` po-nastoyaschemu nachinaesh zadumivat`sya o nastoyaschey druzhbe ... i kak sil`no tebe ne hvataet teh, s kem ti delil vsyu svoyu zhizn`, vse svoi dni v Rossii ...

Vchera ya podumala, chto vse-taki ya lyublyu Ameriku i hotela bi zdes` zhit` ... no pri odnom uslovii, chto vse moi druz`ya bili bi zdes` ...

Ya razrivaus` ... odna moya chast` hochet navsegda ostat`sya zdes` s moey host family ...a drugaya stremitel`no rvetsya domoj ... k mame, k sem`ye, k druz`yam, k gryaznomu (no takomu rodnomu) vozduhu goroda Kemerovo :-)

Esli bi mozhno bilo soedinit` eti dva mira, eti dva izmereniya moey zhizni ... togda bi ya bila POLNOST`YU SCHASTLIVIM CHELOVEKOM ...

V Amerike ostalos` 4 dnya ...

current mood: thoughtful